Sometimes in life the journey can be very hard. Necole and I have really struggled with our future in Austin for quite sometime. Now, don’t get me wrong, Austin is an amazing city, one-of-a-kind for sure. I love the people, the food and culture. I have lots of family, life-long friends and I also have so many great ministry friends, yes I’m so blessed!
But, I knew deep inside it was once again time to move forward and capture something long-term. Anyhow, I’ll get into that later. What I’ve learned the past six months, is my lack of ability to trust God. I felt, “called” but I did not want to fully have to rely on God. I wanted a clear pathway I could walk-down. I wanted God to remove all elements of faith, but deep in my heart, I knew God was not going to do that. It seems hard to differentiate wisdom and faith, it’s a thin-fine-line no doubt.
See, one issues with us moving is Necole’s job. She as a large cliental in Austin, and it’s growing all the time. Going to Raleigh means we start at ZERO income for her: holy snap krackle crud…I on-the-other-hand run a multi-hundred dollar organization called HELP. I get paid every month, and see the thing is, I’m not sure how I get paid
On-top-of-that, I’ve been offered a good chunk-of-cash to start a church in Austin. So, basically, we are throwing Necole’s salary out-the-door, leaving money on the table for church planting and we are going to simply rely on my salary until we get established. Which most of my friends call my salary part-time btw!
Now, shall we add one more complex piece to this puzzle? OK, why not…We also have to rent out our house and we can’t rent it for what our mortgage payment is. (Texas taxes baby) So we must find a good renter and still pay a little to cover our cost-stellar!
Right now we are comfortable, we have plenty of cash, nice house, great friends, live in a great city and I have a great team working for HELP. Pretty cool eh?
Who knows, maybe this will be a colossal failure, maybe HELP will go under, maybe will lose our home, maybe I won’t have a lot of food to eat or money to waste, maybe maybe maybe.
Or, maybe I’ll get up every morning and seek God for help…Maybe I’ll spend money more wisely, maybe I’ll become more focused, maybe I’ll see some miracles, maybe Christ will reveal himself in ways I can’t comprehend. Maybe more orphans will have a home, food and community because HELP is thriving in Texas and the Southeast.
And no matter what, God’s grace is always bigger than my mistakes.
You can’t have faith without doubt, you learn to trust God deeply when all is safe, you have to risk sometimes, somewhere…And, you also have to use wisdom along the way!