Today is one of those days, you know those days, the days when you wonder if your life is making any impact at all. If feel like throwing in the towel, moving to beach and living a simple life with the family. These days are very rare for me, but when the come they come with a vengeance. I ask myself questions like:
1. Is this church-thing working?
2. I’m I a good leader?
3. God can I hear your voice, where is it, where are you?
I don’t want to do church just to do church. I desire life-change for my city, for my world. I don’t want to talk theology or church, I want to see it come alive.
I’m simply desperate for the gospel to be true and authentic. I still remember how it feels to wonder about eternity.
But I still struggle to pray, scripture makes me mad as hell, AND the church makes me want to give up as we wallow in our apathy and religion.
I don’t want to generate a good church, I want to see a move of God. Something so real and fresh. Something that has power and love, hope and grace, where peoples life’s are changed by the story of Jesus and His community of followers.
I can’t sleep at night. Tears fill my eyes, my heart is broken. Broken to know Jesus and to help others know Jesus.
Some days the Kingdom seems so close…today the Kingdom seems so far.
Amen!